The Best in Leather and Padding, and Maybe even a lil Paddlin.
So, we used to call this the Padstackers Club, but we needed a little shake up, a little more sex appeal is the angle here and even though I'm not quite the creative writer that can throw in subtle jokes without a parental advisory, I'll try my best. The idea here is fairly simple, stop the villain, or in hockey terms, the goal, and then you get the girl, which in hockey terms of course means....shower with da boyz. Here we go with the three top saves of the week.
Antti Niemi on Derrick Brassard
The San Jose Sharks are crushing The Pacific Division and a close second for over all spot in the west. A ton of their success can be attributed to goal tending as with any good team and for many years now on any team he plays for Anti Niemi is a rock in net. Facing off against the New York Rangers, it seemed as if though Niemi made it his goal to stop Derrick Brassard (Goal Master in Chief), from scoring. Nothing is funnier in this video than watching Brassard tilt his head back in frustration as he is stopped for a second time on the night with a beauty from Nemo.
Ben Bishop on Michael Ryder
In all fairness to Micheal Ryder, Ben Bishop is part T-Rex, and therefore takes up about 184% of the net. Yeah that's right he even takes up another net. Regardless, Ryder gets two whacks at the puck and still doesn't get anywhere near the net with it. Looks like everything's coming up Ben Bishop
John Bernier on Anze Dracula Kopitar
The final and most amazing save of the week comes not only from my favourite goalie but also from my favourite team. Okay, yuk, I have to take a shower and have a delousing after that remark. I believe though in giving credit where credit is due and credit goes to the designer of those lovely Kings jerseys ooooo weeeeee, those are smoking. Fine, I'll Bernier his credit, a smart play to get back in his net after leaving a juicy medium rare slightly spiced rebound sitting in his crease and keeping the President of Team Vampire at bay. I'd stock up on the garlic if I were Bernier. Never the less here it is in all its glory.
All right so clearly I have taken a bit of a long hiatus from writing. The embarassing truth is that I lost my both my thumbs in a "For Keeps" Thumb War Tournament. But not to worry I have grown them back...yes that'll do. Now on to business. The greatest part in hockey is clearly when a player scores a beautiful goal in which he first embarrasses a goalie, does an over zealous celebration and then stands with the rest of his team mates pointing and laughing at the goalie as tears roll down his eyes. That being said let's get into the goals of the week.
Ales Hemsky on Ben Bishop....and half the Lightning Bench.
Okay, so Ales Hemsky got traded from one crappy team to another blah blah blah, its all irrelevant to why he scores this goal, but blog convention dictates etc. Anyway, Ales Hemsky who seems to really only shine here and there but has always been known as a flashy goal scorer, really does his best to embarrass The Tampa Bay Lightning. First he allows Radko Gudas to do his best pylon impression, and then cements Ben Bishop in the crease as he jack hammers home a beauty of a goal, and finishes off this trio of construction analogies. I would like to add that Gudas took home the Oscar for best impersonation of an inanimate object. The video of course does more justice than my words. Enjoy, and remember to use protection kids.
Blake Wheeler on Reto Berra
So the title might be Blake Wheeler on Reto Berra, but that's just cause there isn't enough space to put the names of the fallen Colorado Avalanche players victimized by this goal. The patience in this goal is just amazing as the twenty six year old Wheeler plays an obedience trainer getting every player on the ice to lie down before netting this beauty. As a side note, Blake is on pace for his best season ever leaving him at 65 points in 80 games and the confidence his gained is on display here. The most enjoyable part of this goal is his chirp session he unleashes as he skates by the Avalanche bench.
Travis Moen on Semyon Varlomov
Last but not least, this nifty little goal by none other than Travis Crosb...er Moen comes of a beautiful diving saucer pass from Brandon Prust. The pass itself is actually just as incredible as the goal because lets face it, when it comes to spinoramas, no one does it better than my man Brian Boitano...he plays hockey right? At any rate its an awesome goal and once again victimizes the Colorado Avalanche.
After finally shaking off the Stanley Cup run hangover, the Bruins have finally started to play as the team they're built to be. That and Steven Stamkos broke himself, leaving room for the Bruins to slide into first, not only in the Atlantic Division but overall in the Eastern Conference. The Bruins, who have gone 7-1-2 in their last ten games, will face off against the Pens on Monday in what could be a preview of the Eastern Conference Finals. The Pens on the other hand, have been playing average hockey but in the Metro Division that's the equivalent of amazing hockey. The last meeting between the two teams saw the Penguins take it 3-2, but that was when Crosby was doing his best Alex Steen impression, or is it the other way around?
Either way, this game will be much closer, especially given the play of Tukka Rask, who has an impressive 1.62 GAA over 19 starts.
Prediction: Boston
This game will be very close and probably decided by only one goal. The Bruins play a tight defensive game and since Julien will have last change advantage, we will see a lot of the Chara vs Crosby matchup. Given that, and the play of Rask as of late, I am leaning towards Boston for this one.
By Marnitz Kotze
Every summer we gather around the idiot box and watch everyone and their dog attempts to predict who the first round draft picks will be. Generally speaking, their predictions are usually spot on but the production expectations for the top draft picks don't always pan out. Let's take a look at some of the top rookies one month into the season.
"Me and my goalies, we tighter than a glove/ Save a lot of games its how we do it at the Padstackers Club" - Eric "Eazy-E" Wright A great save can get you cemented in history as a game-changer, but most importantly it will get you mentioned on my weekly article about saves. This is the Padstackers club.
Now I know what you're thinking; hey, it's Saturday Night, I have nothing to do. I know that there are 10 hockey games on the docket tonight, but I don't have time to watch them all. Isn't there somebody who can mindlessly watch every single game and provide a short, witty recap of all of those said games so that I don't have to?
It's the last weekend of hockey before the league disappears for two weeks for some international competition. It's not the Goodwill Games, like Mighty Ducks 2 indicated. It's the Olympics! And although Gordon Bombay will (fortunately if you're an American or a fan of the stars and stripes look) not be making the journey eastward to help America combat Communism once again, we can all sit back and enjoy what will surely be an eventful 16 days in Sochi. Some of you have asked me if I will be competing in this years Olympics and unfortunately I will not be, due to my embarrassing fiasco last time I competed for my country...
Also Russia won't allow me into the country for some reason...
So I'll just stick to recapping, and that'll be that. Probably for the best.
So in case you haven't heard, there's this thing called the "Super Bowl" that was played this weekend. It's kind of like the Stanley Cup Finals, except it's one game, there's a bunch of really big, expensive commercials, and old, washed-up musicians try to grasp their former glory in front of hundreds of millions of viewers *cough* Bruno Mars *cough*. So it's like the Grey Cup... just better.
Hello from Texas everybody! That's right, I am currently basking in the magnificent glow of the sun shining down on the hotbed of hockey that is the capital of Texas; Austin. Ok, maybe I'm exaggerating just a little bit there, but you can imagine my surprise when exiting the airport in Austin expecting to see that big ol' Texas sun shining its big ol' light down on God's country... and instead seeing this...
A good ol' fashioned Vancouver winter... in Longhorn country
You can be forgiven if you think that Paul Maurice has coached four games so far with the Winnipeg Jets. The simple fact of the matter is, however, he hasn’t.
Jets fans and armchair GMs may be giving Maurice all the credit for the team’s current four-game win streak, but I know better. Let’s break it all down, shall we?
Maurice flew in last Sunday night and subsequently stood behind the bench the day after when the ‘Yotes came to town. But, that’s all he did, he stood. He might have been quizzing himself with faces and names so that he wouldn't appear completely clueless, but in reality, he was evaluating. So how did the team win? Well, first, these players had a new coach. Since most players shoulder the blame after a coach is fired, they put it on themselves to come out and show the new bench-boss what they can do. Boom. Team motivation won them that game, not to mention being at MTS Centre and wanting to end a nasty 5-game drought on home ice.
The Calgary Flames are…well, they’re the Flames. Second-last in the division with 39 points, the Flames are clearly in rebuild mode. To describe their play this season as sub-par would be generous. This is a team that the Jets are supposed to beat. Like others, I don’t think that 49 points for Winnipeg is representative of the talent they have. This game allowed them to put their skills on display (as they always should be against basement-dwelling opponents) and chalk up their second in a row.
Good win. But again, regardless of who’s behind the bench, they’re expected to win against Calgary. Which brings me to…
…Edmonton. Oh Edmonton, champions of the perpetual rebuild. Every year they're handed such high expectations (and draft picks) and every year, they disappoint. This is another of those expected games. It shouldn’t have gone to overtime in the first place but, the Jets ground out a win in the end. I’ll give the team additional style points for all three goals coming only from rookies (Mark Scheifeleand Jacob Trouba[x2]).
That brings us to now. This is where Maurice actually begins the job of coaching this team and righting the ship, especially when the Jets are mind-bogglingly still in the hunt for a playoff spot. After last night's impressive win over Anaheim, two of the next three games are against Western Conference juggernauts in San Jose and Chicago. If we are to get a glimpse into Maurice’s coaching style and potential direction of the team, these are the games to watch. They are his statement games; to the fans, the management, and the league at large. Scouting of his previous coaching jobs shows us that he likes to establish a solid, disciplined defence and there’s no batter stage to introduce that kind of play than against some of the most formidable opponents in the NHL.
Anecdotal evidence would tell us that Paul Maurice started coaching last Monday, but this next stretch is where it really matters. If they can go 2-1 over the next three, then I’ll be cautiously optimistic for the future of my home team, and for the future of Paul Maurice.
Make your statement now, Paul. Everyone is watching.
* * *
Gaetan Harris is Burnaby's biggest Jets fan and he recently unlocked his Twitter feed, so you can bother him at @GaetanH.
... and so the French guy says, "Deodorant? What's that?"
And so if you like that joke then get ready sports fans to have your body in stitches as you prepare to read this week's edition of... THE SATURDAY NIGHT WRAP-UP!! Am I overhyping myself now? Yes I am. Am I perhaps maybe overhyping myself a bit too much? Well, I leave that for you to decide as we dive into this weekend's action-filled, adrenaline fuelled match-ups!
By Zak Griffin
Oh, hello! I didn't see you there. Do you come here often? Well I should hope so, because it's only the hottest thing going on the Internet right now: The Neutral Zone Trap's Saturday Night Wrap-Up!! Yeah, kind of a big deal, if I do say so myself. But you know we here at TNZT try to keep things professional here. Formal as well as festive. Serious as well as surreal. Focused as well as... fun? Speaking of fun, has anyone ever noticed how much former NHLer Chris Drury looks like Luke Wilson!?
A little unsettling, isn't it?
Or how Mike Modano looks like Napoleon Dynamite?
Probably has some killer kung fu moves too
Bet you didn't know that Mike Ricci was a Jedi, did you? Well.. he's not, but he looks like he could be...
I know it's hard to contain your excitement, so I won't ask you to... We're Back!!!
It does feel good to be back, indeed it does. Merry Christmas, Happy New Years and welcome back to school to all of you. And now that we have celebrated the new year, I think it's time we look at Saturday's action, but with a more reflective approach. So as we recap the weekend's action we will also be looking at some possible resolutions that some of these teams may have as we begin the new year that is 2014, what is sure to be a year to remember! Ding, ding, ding, I hear the bell, so let's get to it!
Boston Bruins 4 vs. Winnipeg Jets 1
So how does the number two team in the East start the new year? Well, if we're looking at Saturday night, then pretty well. The Jets "took off" quite well, taking the lead halfway through the first period when Dustin "Big Buff" Bufflin (spelled Byfuglien) potted his ninth of the season. But it seems as if the Jets ran out of fuel, as it was all Bruins after that. Four straight goals by Beantown made it a 4-1 game and they never looked back from there. Torey Krug had two goals and an assist and Tuukka Raask had 36 saves, as the Bruins were outshot 37-26 on the night. The teams got in two fights in the first period, which leads me to our first 2014 Resolution... Boston Bruins Resolution: Stop pretending like everybody doesn't hate you. As with most Boston sports, it's the city against the world. So Bruins, stop pretending that you are not one of the most despised teams in the league and embrace your villain role. I mean you have Batman, so everything's good.
New York Rangers 7 vs. Toronto Maple Leafs 1
Trouble is brewing in New York, as the ever-increasing play of Cam Talbot has done enough to raise the eyebrows of more than a few Rangers fans. Talbot, for his unreal play every time I write a Saturday Night recap, has officially been given the nickname, "Mr. Saturday Night"!! And Mr. Saturday Night was fully ready on Saturday making 25 saves, moving his record to 9-3-0 on the year with a 1.66 GAA and a save percentage of .938! Smells like controversy to me! Oh, and Dominic Moore had two goals which was pretty important I guess. Toronto Maple Leafs Resolution: Time to think of a new strategy. Somehow the Leafs have managed to stay in the playoff picture despite the fact that they get outshot EVERY. SINGLE. GAME!! (editor's note: we'll have to check into that stat) It was no different Saturday, as the Rangers took it to the Leafs outshooting them 41-25. Just keep doing what you're doing, Toronto, your call really.
Colorado Avalanche 4 vs. San Jose Sharks 3
In the words of Journey, "Hold on!" Doesn't that work out nicely, because that is just what the Colorado Avalanche were able to do on Saturday night. By the time Nathan MacKinnon potted his second goal of the night, (which saw the Avs score three goals in a minute and six seconds), to start the second period, we were all thinking the same thing: how did the Colts win that game?! Well as a foreshadow of things to come, San Jose was able to close the gap, eventually pulling to within one at the start of the third but could not knot things up. This goes against the San Jose Sharks Resolution: Suck for Luck. The Sharks just can't figure things out; a bad bounce here, an injury there, leads me to conclude that Lady Luck has been cheated by the Sharks. Nothing you can actually work on, but I'm still blown away by that Colts-Chiefs game.
Well, when you put it that way...
Buffalo Sabres 2 vs. New Jersey Devils 1
The Sabres won!! They won!! Buffalo Sabres Resolution: Whatever you did during this game... do that all the time!!
Carolina Hurricanes 3 vs. New York Islanders 2
New York Islanders Resolution: Watch 60 Minutes. The reason I bring this up is because it's simple: 60 minutes lasts 60 minutes, and 60 minutes is how long an NHL hockey game. And if you play a hockey game as long as an episode of 60 Minutes then you could have won this game. An awful eight minute stretch, if you're an Islanders fan, saw the Hurricanes score three goals during that stretch. After that, it was all Anton Khudobin, who made 38 saves to preserve the big W. Oh, and in case you're wondering: The Hurricanes got outshot... Screw you Corsii!!
St. Louis Blues 6 vs. Columbus Blue Jackets 2
Berglund helps Blues better, beat, best and battle by the Blue Jackets, (alliteration at its most mediocre!). Down two after one, but never nervous. And what is the best way to respond? Scoring goals, lots and lots of goals! And that is what the Blues did, scoring six straight over the course of the rest of the game. Berglund, who had played quite subpar during the first 40 games of the season, potted two and Brian Elliott only faced 24 shots, stopping 22 of them. Columbus Blue Jackets Resolution: Change your goal song. I love AC/DC's "For Those About to Rock" as much as the next guy, and I know this game was not played in Columbus, but seriously? Change the song. And those stupid cannons. It doesn't work.
Florida Panthers 5 vs. Nashville Predators 4
Hockey Poem #8 (Another damn Haiku) by Zak Griffin
Florida, Nashville,
Two of the most storied teams,
Seven fans combined.
Detroit Red Wings 5 vs. Dallas Stars 1
This might be my favourite matchup to watch in the NHL... aesthetically speaking. They should play on Christmas Day every year. Those jerseys are just so awesome, both teams, and the way the red from the Wings contrasts with the beautiful green of the Stars, it just makes watching the game so pleasing, even when the game is kind of a dud... which it was on Saturday. Wings were outshot 45-27, but Howard's a stud, so what else is new? Dallas Stars Resolution: CALL UP TAYLOR PETERS!! That is all.
It's just... so beautiful...
Ottawa Senators 4 vs. Montreal Canadiens 3 (OT)
Let's be completely honest, the Sens have not played up to snuff this season. After Paul MacLean's moustache powered the Sens to exceed everybody's expectations last year, we came to expect that kind of play, but that level of magic has not been seen as much this year from the team. Maybe that is starting to turn around, with Clarke MacArthur's OT winner, the Sens have now won four in a row. Ottawa Senators Resolution: Don't Stop Believing... in the 'stache. MacLean's magic cannot be taken for granted if the Sens want to battle back into the playoffs. Trust in him, trust in yourselves, but most importantly... trust the 'stache!!
Minnesota Wild 5 vs. Washington Capitals 3
Move over Alex "Oven chicken" Ovechkin, there's a new face coming to take your goal scoring title, and he plays defence!! Ryan Suter scored his first career hat trick and the first hat trick by a Wild defenseman in franchise history to power the Wild to a victory over the up-tempo Capitals. Yes, you heard right. Stay-at-home defenceman Ryan Suter had a hat trick. I guess it's obvious, the Minnesota Wild Resolution: Feed the bear! Suter is already having a Norris Trophy-worthy season and a few more goals may help his cause even more. Oh, and I forgot; final shots were 30-11... for the Caps!! Look out Leafs, there's a new good bad-puck-possession team in town. How do you win with 11 shots on goal!?
Yeah, Mr. Bush, we're all confused too
Philadelphia Flyers 5 vs. Phoenix Coyotes 3
Remember that time when everybody was making those "Mike Smith has more goals than Claude Giroux" jokes? I do, and it hurt me. So when Giroux notched his 12th of the year it made me extra happy. So what if the goal was an empty netter? Still counts on the score sheet. Oh, and the Flyers overcame a two goal deficit and Jakub Voracek's scored his tenth of the year midway through the third period to steal this game from the 'Yotes, but the storyline of this game was Giroux vs. Smith, and I'd like to think Giroux came out on top on this one. Final shots: 29-27 for the Coyotes... I hate you Corsii!!
Los Angelas Kings 3 vs. Vancouver Canucks 1
Jonathan Quick's resolution should be to get hurt more often, because while he was hurt Martin Jones took us on a ride! Martin Jones went 8-3-0, including an 8-0-0 run to start his tenure as the Kings goalie, and he finished with a 1.41 GAA and a .950 save percentage. But alas, Jones is back in Manchester and the NHL saw the return of two all-star goalies, and they put on a show for the majority of this one. The Canucks scored early, and Luongo was perfect as he was baptized by fire facing 48 shots in his return to the Canucks crease. But Luongo couldn't completely shut the door, as goals by Dustin Brown and Jeff Carter put the Kings ahead. Quick's door-shutting was as good as usual, making 27 saves on the night. Vancouver Canucks Resolution: California Love... without the love. Canucks need to figure out how to beat their California opponents, or they're not going anywhere in the playoffs... except California, which isn't the worst thing.
Well, that'll about do it for me. Hope you guys are still sticking with your own resolutions. My resolution you ask? Nap more... which I think I will. See you everybody, and until next time... Keep your stick on the ice!
* * * Zak Griffin is a huge fan of Pope Francis (aren't we all?). You can follow him on Twitter at @ZakGriffin13
