Saturday Wrap-Up

Super Bowl!!! FOOTBALL!!! ARGHH!!!!

By Zak Griffin

Coincidence?

So in case you haven't heard, there's this thing called the "Super Bowl" that was played this weekend. It's kind of like the Stanley Cup Finals, except it's one game, there's a bunch of really big, expensive commercials, and old, washed-up musicians try to grasp their former glory in front of hundreds of millions of viewers *cough* Bruno Mars *cough*. So it's like the Grey Cup... just better.



But with that being said, the rest of the sports world tries to capitalize on this spectacle by throwing together a lot of games to ride the coattails of the Super Bowl. And hockey is no different; so here's an update on the day that was Super Bowl Saturday: Hockey Edition!!

Boston Bruins 4 vs. Edmonton Oilers 0

It was a battle of wills: The will of the Bruins to rebound from one of their worst loss of the season (a 4-0 beatdown at home at the hands of arch nemesis Montreal) VS. the will of the enigma that has been Ben Scrivens during the last few days. It was a battle of titans greater than Greek mythology itself. But unfortunately for Scrivens, his luck (that's right, luck) ran dry as he was bested by Chad "TreintaCinco" Johnson as the Bruins exorcised their demons by equaling their embarrassing defeat against the hapless Oilers. Although Scrivens did record 37 saves on the contest, it was Johnson who was the perfect keeper on this night, stopping all 22 shots he faced. Scriven let die, indeed.

2 - 0 Seahawks.

Philadelphia Flyers 2 vs. Los Angeles Kings 0

Speaking of 2 - 0, the Philadelphia Flyers did their best stingy Seattle Seahawks defence impression and shut down the Los Angeles Kings, who are playing for like the Los Angeles Jesters as of late. Sounds like they need a game against Vancouver. Steve Mason made good on his recent contract extension (no, actually this time, I'm not being sarcastic), stopping all 35 saves for the shutout. The evening was especially... special... for Wayne Simmonds. The Flyers forward, who scored his first ever career goal inside the Wells Fargo Arena in Philadelphia, potted his 100th career goal in the exact same building. So congratulations to him, Dr. Zoidberg...

5 - 0 Seahawks

Tampa Bay Lightning 2 vs. Montreal Canadiens 1 (OT)

I don't know how they keep doing this, but somehow Tampa Bay continues to find success without super-stud Steven Stamkos. I think I can safely say that I'm just as big a Lightning fan as anybody in Tampa (I actually think that's true), and I wrote them off the moment Stamkos went down. But, as Chris Brown would say, -insert Rihanna/Chris Brown joke here-. The Lightning's two-game skid ended on the strength of two goals from Nate Thompson and 28 saves from Ben Bishop, who made his return after being kneed in the back of the head and missing virtually the entire game during his first game back from injury. Team Canada's hopeful starter, Carey Price, was sharp making 34 saves. I didn't watch the game, but I assumed he looked good doing it too.

Toronto Maple Leafs 6 vs. Ottawa Senators 3

Remember those games, back in the day, when everybody cared about this game. Remember when the battle of Ontario included names like Sundin, Alfredsson, CuJo, Hossa, McCabe, Chara, Tucker, Havlat, Kaberle, Lalime, Roberts, Bonk, Quinn, Redden, Ponikarovsky and Martin? Well, those days are gone. Now we have names like: Kessel, Bozak, Silfverberg, Kadri, Lupul and a bunch of other players that are not as good. And although I do not care about the result I am forced to do so. So, here's the story of the game: Phil Kessel plays good despite being fat. Kessel scored three times and had an assist. Chris Neil tried to equal him, but was only able to score two goals and an assist. So in the end, that was the difference. Blame Chris Neil! And blame Phil Kessel's incomprehensible fatness.

I know what you're thinking... It's B: Bradley Cooper

Colorado Avalanche 7 vs. Buffalo Sabres 1

... 8 - 0 Seahawks. This game sucked. The Sabres suck.

Columbus Blue Jackets 4 vs. Florida Panthers 1

It was the match-up you had circled on your calendar the entire week, I'm sure. The mighty Blue Jackets, led by their contingent of former Portland Winterhawks (Ryan Johansen and Brandon Dubinsky), strode onto the battlefield to match wits with the best Florida has to offer. And the game did not disappoint... if you were rooting for the Blue Jackets. Johansen and Boone Jenner (such a great name) each had a goal and an assist and the Broncos were lead by the hero they needed (but not the one they deserved)... BATBROVSKY!!!

St. Louis Blues 4 vs. Nashville Predators 3 (SO)

Speaking of marquee match-ups that everybody in the world wants to see! Former Portland Winterhawk Seth Jones did not record a point on the night, which would end up costing his team, I'm sure, in the long run. Vladimir Tarasenko scored a goal and an assist and scored the winner in the shootout, beating Carter Hutton (who are these Nashville goalies?!) stick side to best the best team from a state that gave birth to Elvis Presley.

15 - 0 Seahawks. Let's just get to the halftime show already.

I don't always listen to RHCP, but when I do... I can't stop!

Phoenix Coyotes 3 vs. Pittsburgh Penguins 1

A moment of silence for the Phoenix Coyotes who, at the end of this season, will no longer be the Phoenix Coyotes... get ready to say hello to the Arizona Coyotes. I for one would like to welcome these new look Coyotes, maybe a name change is what they need to get things going in the desert. It worked well for them on Saturday, as the team to-be-formerly known as the Phoenix Coyotes, beat the best the Eastern Conference has to offer; Crosby and Co. Team Canada third string goalie Mike Smith made 23 saves, perennial show-off Mike Ribeiro had a goal and an assist and Zbynek Michalek has a really weird name... and also scored a goal.

22 - 0 Seahawks... how 'bout that Denver offence, eh?

Calgary Flames 4 vs. Minnesota Wild 3 (OT)

Don't look now, but the Calgary Flames are on a five-game winning streak. The Flames closed out their five-game home stand with a perfect record in tact. They now head on the road where they will be continuously reminded that, in fact, still suck. But on this night the Flames from Calgary sucked a little bit less than their opponents, allowing them to pick up the win. Mikael Backlund had two goals, including the game winner in overtime, T.J. Galiardi had a goal and an assist, Mark Giordano had two assists and Reto Berra was pulled after allowing three goals on 17 shots (no worries as Karri Ramo came in and was perfect on all six shots he faced). This is the first time in almost a year that the Flames have won five straight on home ice...

Dallas Stars 2 vs. Anaheim Ducks 0

Speaking of teams that don't suck... the Anaheim Ducks. Let's be completely honest here: the Ducks are not used to losing this season, especially at home. So you can imagine the amount of surprise when Trevor Daley beat Jonas Hiller for his fourth goal of the season held until Jamie Benn potted his 22nd into the empty net to hand the Ducks their first shutout of the season and their fifth loss at home ( and just their third in regulation). Dan Ellis had 26 saves, Hiller had 25 and Dallas still has great jerseys.

San Jose Sharks 2 vs. Chicago Blackhawks 1 (SO)

Say what you want about the Sharks' recent struggle to score goals, if the game goes to a shootout, the only team that's going to be struggling is the team they're shooting against (and that's after starting the year 1-5 in shootouts). Both goals came in the first period, as Joe Pavelski, who is quietly having a fantastic season so far, scored his 29th goal of the season to break open the scoreless affair 6:10 into the third period. But this is the Chicago Blackhawks we're talking about, so you know what that means: cue the LL Cool J music!!! And just over a minute later, Brandon Saad potted his 18th to tie this game. OT solved nothing, so the teams went to a shootout. There the difference was simple: Chicago missed once while San Jose did not. All three San Jose shooters, Pavelski, Patrick Marleau and Joe Thornton, beat Corey Crawford to seal the deal in California. Crawford was spectacular, making 38 saves in the loss, but Patrick Kane didn't record a point, so the whole team is garbage, amiright?!


Okay, that does it for me. It's halftime, you know what that means: McDonald's run!!

Keep your stick on the ice, friend-o's.

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Zak Griffin watched the Superbowl on Sunday, but he watches every game (usually) played in the NHL on Saturdays. Follow him on Twitter at @ZakGriffin13.