Saturday Wrap-Up

Olympics Have Fallen

By: Zak Griffin

Now I know what you're thinking; hey, it's Saturday Night, I have nothing to do. I know that there are 10 hockey games on the docket tonight, but I don't have time to watch them all. Isn't there somebody who can mindlessly watch every single game and provide a short, witty recap of all of those said games so that I don't have to? 

Wait for it... Wait for it... Wait for it...

Like Robin Williams as the Genie in Aladdin, I'm Zak Griffin and you're wish is my command! I hope you all had a great Junior Goodwill Games break, and now that Canada has established world dominance in the world of hockey, welcome to the dictatorship!! Now fall in line or face the wrath of Crosby and co.!! 

Big Crosby is Watching You

Montreal Canadiens 4 vs. Toronto Maple Leafs 3 (OT)

A Hockey Poem #8 (Dedicated to team Canada) by Zak Griffin

O Canada!
Our home and native land!
True patriot love in all thy sons command.
With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
The True North strong and free!
From far and wide,
O Canada, we simply much better than thee.
God keep our land glorious and free!
O Canada, we are better than thee
O Canada, we are better than thee!

New Jersey Devils 6 vs. New York Islanders 1

The Devils may as well call themselves the New Jersey Retirement Home from now on, or at least until the trade deadline. Jaromir Jagr joined the elite "Old Man's" club by potting his 700th career NHL goal and Marty Brodeur made 18 saves to pick up his 683rd career win. And then, like every other old man, Brodeur announced to the world that he's too young to be placed in a retirement home by waving his no-trade clause so that he can (potentially) head to Florida. And after starting 1249 games for the Brodeur, if this was to be Brodeur's final game, it won't be his finest game he's ever played, but it's a win which is something he made New Jersey all too familiar with over his career. So congrats Marty, wherever you end up... also Corey Schneider is a home-wrecker, just throwing that out there. 

Winnipeg Jets 3 vs. Nashville Predators 1

Thanks to 39 saves from Ondrej Pavelec, the Jets took flight and bested the less-than-fearsome Predators. Neither team took off the way they wanted to, as the game was scoreless after the first period. But, after a bit of a delay, Winnipeg jetted out to a two-goal lead thanks to goals from Olli Jokinen and Andrew Ladd in the second period. Although a goal by Simon Moser put some turbulence under their wings, Devin Setoguchi's 11th goal of the season lead to a safe landing in Nashville... airplane.

Airplane

Tampa Bay Lightning 4 vs. Dallas Stars 2

Speaking of old men moving to Florida, Marty St. Louis is doing it all wrong. I'd like to think that St. Louis was really thinking ahead when he took his talents to the retirement capital of the world so many years ago. But now he's demanding a trade to get out of Tampa?! Marty, what are you doing buddy!?!? You just scored two goals against Dallas to (along with 39 saves from Ben Bishop) lead your team to victory despite Steven Stamkos continuing to play the Derrick Rose injury game, you're 38 years old, why leave Florida? Come on man, you already look good in white!

Washington Capitals 4 vs. Boston Bruins 2

There are a few things in this world that once you've seen them, you will never forget. The Joker's "Magic Trick," Rebecca Black's Friday music video, this...

The wrinkles leave little to the imagination

And if you're an NHL goaltender, add a one-timer from the left side of the ice on a powerplay from Alex Ovechkin to the top of that list. And in true Ovechkin fashion, Ovi had two goals, both on the PP, to give him 43 goals on the year. Finnish goaltending hero Tuuka Rask was left trembling in his skates, and according to reports (that I made up) has been talking to himself ever since. Meanwhile, Brayden ".546" Holtby failed to live up to his nickname, making 36 saves on the evening. That's right, I'm still making that joke! If everyone can make Claude Giroux jokes for months on end, I can make Holtby jokes!

Philadelphia Flyers 4 vs. New York Rangers 2

Speaking of Claude Giroux, he only had an assist on the night, and has no Olympic gold medal to his name. Meanwhile Mike Smith has one, therefore he's a better player than Giroux, am I right? Anyways, after surrendering a two-goal lead when Chris Kreider and Derrick Broussard scored in the second period, Wayne Simmonds took the lead right back a minute and 41 seconds later on the Powerplay. A Luke Schenn blast put the game away late in the third, and the rest was just a formality. Swedish goaltending hero Henrik Lundqvist was bested by Olympic snub Steve Mason. Mason had 33 saves which bettered the 27 saves made by his Swedish counterpart. Something, something, something, team that wins has less shots, something, something...

Columbus Blue Jackets 6 vs. Florida Panthers 3

Don't be fooled by the score in this one. Don't get me wrong, Florida does suck, but they didn't suck as much as the three-goal loss would indicate. When Artem Anisimov scored shorthanded with ten seconds left in the second period, it did put a damper on an evenly played game until that point, but the game was far from over... in theory. Nick Foligno and Matt Calvert scored empty netters 24 seconds apart to "ice" the game. The Florida Panthers could only muster 20 shots on goal during the entire game, and unless you're facing Brayden Holtby, four goals on 20 shots is an unlikely thing to see an NHL goalie allow. 

Los Angeles Kings 3 vs. Carolina Hurricanes 1

Won't the real Slim Shady please step up, please step up, please step up? On this game, the real Slim Shady, Jonathan Quick, did step up (unlike the bronze medal game against Finland, amiright?) making 24 saves on the night. In a matchup of these two heated rivals, with so much history you can imagine that this would be a tight checking affair. And it was, until Alec Martinez netted his fifth of the season halfway through the third period that this game was broken open. And you got the feeling that that would be enough to put the game away. Well, you would have been right, but Justin Williams just wanted to be sure, so he scored on an empty net with just over a minute remaining to ensure the victory. I don't know about you, but I can't wait for the next time these two teams meet.

Chicago Blackhawks 5 vs. Pittsburgh Penguins 1

To quote the "Drunk Patrick Kane" twitter account, "GET READY TO FREEZE YOUR NUTS OFF CHICAGO!!!" Nothing much to talk about hear... except the celebrations made by the Hawks every time they scored a goal. What was the deal with that? It's not like they are not going to score ever again, so why celebrate like it? For more insight into this game, I recommend checking out the Drunk Patrick Kane twitter page, very insightful. *disclaimer, must be over 18 and have the maturity of a 15-year-old boy.*

Calgary Flames 2 vs. Edmonton Oilers 1 (OT)

The Oscars are right around the corner, so this game will be award theme:

The award for "Rivalry that nobody cares about any more because both teams haven't been good since the late 80's/early 90's" goes to: The rivalry between the Flames and Oilers!!

Bryz could only do so much, and in the end it was the miracle worker Sean Monahan who scored his 17th and 18th goals of the season to carry his team to the win. Now come up and get your award!!

Inspired by James Cameron

And from one meaningless rivalry to the next, that does it for us here folks. See you at the Heritage "Classic"!! 

Keep your sticks on the ice, kiddos!


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Zak Griffin is the best around, and nothing will ever keep him down. He is also hooked on a feeling and so excited that he just can't hide it. If you dig his good vibrations, hit him up on the Twitter machine at @ZakGriffin13