Saturday Wrap-Up

Zak fights for the heavyweight recapping championship belt

Courtesy wwe24seven.com

By Zak Griffin

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages. The Neutral Zone Trap proudly brings to you, its soon to be, blog/podcast CHAMPION OF THE WOOOOOOOOORLD!!! Zak "The Blogger" Griffin, his computer Milos, (say it with me now);

THE SATURDAY! NIGHT! RECAP!!!!!!!!!

Well, I don't know about you guys, but if that don't get you fired up hotter than a Texas barbecue in the middle of August, then I don't know what will. Thank you for joining me here at the Saturday Wrap-Up HQ, as we look to bring you highlights of all the action from around the league from Saturday night's action. We've got a lot of games to get through, so, without any further ado, we shall begin with this evenings festivities. But before we do, there is something I have to ask you: 

Boston Bruins 3 vs. Carolina Hurricanes 2 (OT)

In the words of Ozzy Osbourne, "Mama, I'm coming home." In the words of Motley Crue, "Home sweet home." In the words of Lynyrd Skynyrd, "Sweet home Alabama." In the words of Dorothy, "There's no place like home." And, in the words of Bruins fans, "Fa** yeah!! We're in fa**in' Bawston!! Y'all are a bunch a weirdos, cause ya not from fa**in' Bawston! Go Sawx!" After the Bruins had squandered a one-goal lead midway through the third period when Patrick Dwyer scored his second of the season to make it a 2-2 hockey game, the Bruins hopes turned to David Krejci, and the "Krejcmander" delivered. With his fourth goal of the season, which he scored 1:28 into overtime, the Bruins took this one and are now 6-0-2 in their last eight home games. The Bruins got a solid performance from backup goalie Chad "Don't Call Me Ochocinco" Johnson, who made 22 saves to improve his record to 3-1-0 on the year. Meanwhile, the Hurricanes are singing another tune. The 'Canes picked up their first point in six away games, but are winless during that stretch and are now 0-3-1 in their last four games away from 'Sweet Caroline'... a. 

Toronto Maples Leafs 2 vs. Washington Capitals 1 (SO)

Should we talk about the game overall? No. Should we talk about how the game was not an even affair, and if it weren't for the fact that James Reimer had to face 50 shots (and stopped all but one of them) while his counterpart, Brayden Holtby, only faced 28? I don't think so. Should we talk about how, after deflecting a Jake Gardiner point shot, David Clarkson potted his second for the Leafs and is looking like he might be starting to produce the way the Leafs thought he would when they acquired him last summer? BORING! Should we talk about how Alex Ovechkin scored his 20th of the season, meaning he has something around 42 goals in his last 44 regular season games that he's played in? Nahh, it's been talked to death. Should we talk about how the Leafs still suck? Perhaps, but now is not the time. What I want to point out was Mikhail Grabovski. Now, I didn't catch a lot of this game but what I did manage to catch was the scary incident when a falling Grabovski GOT KICKED IN THE FACE BY A HOCKEY SKATE!! David Clarkson's skate accidentally got up and full on heel-punted Grabo in the face. And then he came back and played later in the game!! 20 stitches later, and he has now shown he is the toughest Leaf on their roster, just passing Phil Kessel.

Courtesy Beer League Beauts

Phil "Mean Machine" Kessel

Montreal Canadiens 3 vs. Pittsburgh Penguins 2

Three goals was enough this time around, as the Montreal Canadiens were able to withstand James Neal and company's late rally and hold on for a dramatic 3-2 Swedish... sorry, Finnish. But all jokes aside... for now, the Canadiens got two goals out of Max Pacioretty and Carey Price made 29 saves to move the Canadiens to 13-9-2 on the year. For the Penguins, although the loss moves them to 15-9-0, it feels good to have James Neal back as his production has been surely missed. With two goals in the contest, Neal is now on a three-game point streak, during that time he has picked up three goals and three assists. This dude is so hot, he makes Katniss look like a popsicle. 

Philadelphia Flyers 5 vs. New York Islanders 2

Haha, hey guys! Claude Giroux only has two more goals than Mike Smith! Haha, what a loser! Can we stop making those jokes now, please? Thank you. Anyways, it seems as though the Flyers are kind of starting to turn things around. Third period play, which was a huge struggle early in the season (they were outscored 19-6 in their first 15 third periods), is now becoming a strength for the team as they've outscored the opposition 11-3 in their past seven final frames, including Saturday night in Philly. The team is now 6-0-1 in their last seven games and are now within two points of third place in the Metropolitan division. Man, these boys are so hot, they make heat melt (that's your Snoop Dogg lyric for this morning). 

Minnesota Wild 3 vs. Winnipeg Jets 2 (SO)

The Wild had to overcome two one-goal deficits to force overtime and they did, thanks to goals from former Portland Winterhawk Nino Niederreiter and Zach Parise. Overtime solved nothing so (EVERYBODY DRINK!!) we head to a shootout. There it was Charlie Coyle's turn to play the hero, as he made a nifty move to beat Ondrej Pavelec and take it for the Wild. The scary part was when feel good story Josh Harding went down with an injury minutes before the puck was even, allowing Nicklas Backstrom to retake the net for the time being. Backstrom was just activated from the injury reserve list, but I like to think he came in to save the day like David Hasselhoff.

Courtesy The Scrib

Mitch Buchanon: The cure for the common erection

Ottawa Senators 4 vs. Detroit Red Wings 2

It really is weird when you look at the standings and see the Red Wings nestling right between the Capitals and the Canadiens. The whole re-alignment thing still hasn't sit in yet. Anywho, if this is the case (and I'm pretty sure it is), then the Red Wings are going to have to learn to pick it up the next time they face the Sens. The Wings could simply not solve Robin Lehner, as the Sens goaltender made 34 saves to completely deny the the Red Wings. For an encore following his miracle assist he had the other day, Clarke Macarthur added two goals to help support the cause. Agent 007, aka Bobby Ryan, added a goal and an assist and that was all she wrote in the motor city. 

St. Louis Blues 6 vs. Dallas Stars 1

Hockey Poem #4 by Zak Griffin

In my years,

I have noticed,

Writing about the the game and its players

Comes with great ease,

But an ordinary day 

With the score out of reach,

and two teams nobody cares for

Is a subject as to which not many care.

A day when birds are too bored to fly;

People drearily roam outside.

I cannot believe the words from my mouth

I wish the Sabres were playing.

New York Rangers 2 vs. Nashville Predators 0

Last week... He did what he could... And saved New York... From certain defeat... Now... In front of his father... He will be called... To go to battle once again... This summer... They will turn... Once again... To... "Cam Talbot 2: The Talbotening" (Directed by Michael Bay and produced by Jerry Bruckheimer). With the fathers of the players travelling alongside them, Talbot got to play in front of his old man, and he put on a show. Talbot made 17 saves on the night, earning his second consecutive shutout. He is now 5-1-0 on the year and has only allowed eight goals on 158 shots so far this year. Ryan McDonagh and Derek Stepan each potted a goal for their team and the Rangers were able to hold back the mighty offensive juggernaut that is (former Portland Winterhawk) Seth Jones and the rest of the Predators roster.

Anaheim Ducks 4 vs. Phoenix Coyotes 2

Cue the E.R. theme song! With eight of their players (unfortunately including former Portland Winterhawk Luca Sbisa now), out with various injuries, the Ducks have had to resort to training montages and really inspiring pre-game speeches to help get them through games these days. If that's the case then I'm willing to bet that Kenny Loggins must have been involved alongside Al Pacino pretending to be Herb Brooks coaching Rocky, because somehow the Ducks were able to do something that no team has done all year. With two goals from Dustin Penner and 42 saves from former trade-bait Jonas Hiller, the Ducks became the first team this year to keep the Coyotes pointless in a game in Phoenix. In my mind every player on the Ducks did something like this before the game as a way for preparing for the battle to come:

San Jose Sharks 2 vs. New Jersey Devils 1

Screw it I'm doing another poem!

Hockey Poem #5 (Another Haiku) by Zak Griffin

This game is boring

I don't care for either team

I'm having a nap

Colorado Avalanche 1 vs. Los Angeles Kings 0 (OT)

Do you remember when this used to be a matchup that you would circle on your calendar and eagerly anticipate another exciting game between the Avalanche and Kings. Both teams were completely stacked with some of the best talent that money could buy. Patrick Roy would don the pads and go to war against the Kings in a display that would make Tywin Lannister shake in his boots. The games would be fast paced and high scoring, and afterwards you would eagerly anticipate the next collision between these two teams (which would most likely occur during the playoffs). Now look where we are. A 1-0 final with Ben Scrivens in net. Ben Scrivens. His name just makes me angry, I don't know what it is. Finally, however, Jaime McGinn was able to break the deadlock and pot his fourth of the season. Kudos to McGinn, but all I remember from him is this doozy he threw back in 2011:

  

Chicago Blackhawks 2 vs. Vancouver Canucks 1

The Blackhawks know better than most how to turn a game around quickly, something the Vancouver Canucks should have been aware of when they battled their longtime rival in Vancouver Saturday night. The Blackhawks captured the Stanley Cup last year during game 6 when they potted two goals 17 seconds apart to steal the series clinching game. If the Vancouver Canucks didn't know that (because they probably stopped watching) they certainly are aware of the Blackhawks ability to put goals on the board quickly now. Goals from Andrew Shaw and Marcus Kruger nine seconds apart helped the Blackhawks steal a victory from the jaws of defeat. But Patrick Kane didn't score so...

I don't know him, but I think we would be good friends

Well, that about does it here at HQ, another week's worth of hockey watching has come to a fizzling conclusion. We've accomplished a lot together and I think we're all better people for it. So, until next time, remember: tip your waitress, don't ride in cars with boys and, as always, keep your stick on the ice.

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If you smell what Zak Griffin is cooking, then hit him up on Twitter @zakgriffin13. And that's the bottom line, because Zak Griffin said so.